Tips for Building Healthy Habits
So, maybe it’s a little cliché to do a January blog on building habits. But, I decided to do it anyway because it’s been on my mind a lot lately, and I don’t think I’m the only one. If you’re like most people, you may feel renewed energy right now to focus on your physical and mental health and wellbeing this year.
I am in full support of this renewed energy to focus on wellbeing. But change is hard. If it were easy, we probably would have already made these changes without waiting until the new year. It can be hard to know where to start and especially hard to know how to keep it going.
Or, maybe you fall more in the camp of, “new year’s resolutions never work, so I’m not going to bother.”
Whether you’re excited to make changes and struggling to know how, or you have given up on setting goals for yourself – I hear you. Dramatic changes are hard to pull off, and New Years resolutions often do end by… February.
So, is the best option to just keep on with the status quo, and not get too optimistic about our ability to change?
Well, this might be the easy option, but it’s not likely to be the most rewarding path. Instead, you’re better off setting realistic and meaningful goals for yourself, and letting go of perfectionism. Here are a few tips to get you started:
Prioritize
When I say prioritize, I mean really digging deep into what matters the most to you. This should feel different than prioritizing your to-do list.
You may have a running list of goals that looks something like this: cooking more, eating healthier foods, saving money, limiting your kids’ screen time, limiting your own screen time, exercise, socializing more, and on and on…
These are great goals to have. But that’s a lot to focus on at once. Instead, you may want to try to focus on the three or fewer goals that are most important to you.
If you’re not sure which goals to prioritize, try this exercise: Imagine it’s one year from now. Ask yourself how you would feel if you never made changes to your [fill in the blank] habit. For example, how would you feel a year from now if you did not start exercising? If that’s not something you could feel OK about, that’s a good sign that this is a priority for you. In other words, maybe you could cope with the idea of still scrolling on Instagram at night this time next year, but you would be really disappointed if you did not start exercising more. If this is the case, start with changing your exercise habits. Focus on what matters most to you.
Start Small:
When it comes to starting a new habit, your goal should be small and manageable. You need to be able to integrate a new habit into your regular routine, and setting a small goal makes for an easier adjustment. It’s a lot easier to figure out how you’re going to set aside five minutes each week for mindfulness practice than it is to start meditating for twenty minutes each day. Once you build momentum with your new habit, you can then set increasingly challenging new goals.
Try SMART Goals:
SMART goals are used in a variety of settings, including work-place environments and therapy. If you haven’t heard of SMART goals before, it stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
To break this down, your goals should be as specific as possible. This helps logistically to try to plan out how you can make this change. In a sense, specific goals are the beginnings of a plan. For example, “reconnecting with old friends” harder to plan than “calling one friend a week.” (Notice that calling one friend a week is also a measurable goal). When you set a specific goal, you can feel good about reaching your goal, which can then motivate you to keep going. In contrast, a vague goal of “reconnecting with old friends” may never feel “accomplished,” making it harder to find the energy to keep going.
Achievable relates to the second bullet point of keeping your goals small. Your goals should be relevant in that they tie directly back to your priorities (see the first bullet point). For example, if your priority is to spend more time with your family, a relevant goal could be to plan weekly dinners with family. To make them time-bound, give yourself a date by which you plan to accomplish your goal. For example, if I were to plan to start jogging when I feel like it, it’s not very likely to happen. There are a ton of templates and resources on SMART goals available for free online.
Make it Social
There are two primary reasons to try to figure out how to involve your social network: it makes the habit more rewarding, and it helps with accountability. One strategy could be to find someone in your life who is looking to make a similar change, and check-in with each other on your progress. Or, you can approach this as an opportunity to connect to a new community. For example, if you’re trying to read more this year, maybe search for book clubs in your area.
Let Go of “All-or-None” Thinking
I see this frequently. “All-or-none” thinking is the death of a new habit. This way of thinking a form of perfectionism and intolerance for a goal that is partially met.
Let’s be honest here: it’s unlikely you are going to meet your new goal 100% of the time. Why? Life happens. You get sick. There is a work emergency. You’re tired. Whatever the reason may be, it’s easy to fall off track.
Instead of saying “well I didn’t go to the gym all week (or month), so maybe it’s just not for me,” check in with yourself to see if this is still a goal that is a priority for you. If the answer is yes, then start again. Maybe you go back to smaller goals again until you build up your momentum. Be kind to yourself and patient with yourself.
To sum it up, change doesn’t happen overnight just because it’s a new year. However, taking the time to prioritize, setting specific and small goals, and preparing for there to be setbacks are all strategies that can make it easier to build new habits.
